The Silence That Makes You Sick
My father used to punish my mother with silence.
He’d stop eating. Stop talking.
Call it a “strike.”
The result?
Three stents in his heart.
I did the same in my twenties.
Didn’t eat. Didn’t speak.
Just said, “I’m fine.”
Result: gastritis.
Years later, when my daughter grew up, I realized something brutal —
she was copying me.
Same cold face. Same silence.
That’s when I stopped.
Stopped pretending.
Stopped acting strong.
Started talking.
Now she’s healthy.
Every form says: “No health issues.”
Here’s the truth no one likes to hear:
Silence is not strength.
It’s pride dressed as control.
It’s the body paying for what the mouth refuses to say.
You can call it self-discipline.
You can call it being private.
But your body knows when you’re lying.
Most professionals I meet —
smart, successful, exhausted —
are doing the same thing.
Building perfect lives while slowly killing their truth.
They drink to relax.
They scroll to forget.
They smile to survive.
And then they wonder why their life feels like someone else’s.
My wake-up call?
- Real strength is not “holding it together.”
- Real strength is saying, “This is not working.”
- Real strength is breaking the silence before it breaks your body.
If you feel trapped in a version of success that’s making you sick,
this is your permission slip:
Stop performing.
Start talking.
You are going to be different.
Let that happen.
Can you feel that?
P.S.
Taken in Luzern, 2014 — my father and my daughter.
Three hearts, one story.
The difference is: mine finally learned to speak.
